Paul and I were going to be gone for most of the day so we had organized two babysitters for our lovely children. Aunt Margie showed up at 7:30am to take the first shift and Uncle Conrad came around 10 to take the afternoon shift. Later on, Paul and I discovered that Auntie Janine came for the late-afternoon shift so Conrad could leave early.
We arrived at the Juravinski Centre when everything was just opening up and staff was just coming into work. Paul dropped me off and went to park our vehicle nearby; in the driveway of Paul's cousin Melissa. Seriously, what on earth would we do without all these amazing people in our lives. Babysitting for us, letting us park in the driveway so we don't have to pay $18 per day for all of our appointments, making us meals, dropping off baking, delivering cards, praying and praying. Our support system has been so amazing.....those arms of Jesus wrapped around us! Thank you so much for all your support and love and prayers!!
I had just come into the building when I spotted an older lady leaning heavily on her walker shuffling my way.
"Ann?" I queried. It was Ann - the woman I had met several weeks ago. We had sat together and shared our stories. Ann started off with breast cancer at 38 years old and now has bone cancer in her 60s. Ann's treatment involves a lot of trials that may or may not work and the doctors are working to prolong her years. It was Ann that told me that her cancer taught her to LIVE life to its fullest and she and her husband are off to Disney World next week, a place they love.
Back to my query....."Ann?"
"Hi, yes. I recognize you but I have forgotten your name..." she responded.
"Brigette. We met a few weeks ago. You told me you had breast cancer at 38 and that is what I have now....remember?"
"Oh yes. How ARE you?" she asked.
"Great. Today is my last chemo day!" I chirped, as excited as a school-kid in a candy shop.
"That is wonderful!" she exclaimed. Her husband came over and we chatted briefly. Then we wished each other a very Merry Christmas and hugged.
Here, friendships are forged fast and furious, because life is short but life is beautiful!
I made my way to get my bloodwork done. I had just snapped open the paper when my number was called.
"Today's my last day of chemo!!" I announced to anyone who was interested. My excitement was beginning to embarrass even me but I was met with wide smiles from everyone. The Juravinski Centre is a place where there is much sadness and sorrow so joy is held onto with both hands!
Bloodwork done in 2.2 seconds! Bandaid on!
Paul had parked our car and met me in the hallway.
Next we had to have our pharmaceutical briefing to let us know if my blood count was okay to allow chemo to occur that day. We signed in at the Chemo Suite and were soon told that all was good to go and the chemo mixture was being prepared for me.
"Woo hoo!" I cheered.
Amazing how what we cheer for, what we savour, what we find joy and excitement in changes from year to year. What did you cheer for last year? I certainly did not cheer for chemo! But today I did and Paul joined in. "Awesome!! Now, let's get a coffee!"
So we left the Chemo Suite and made our way to the Cafe. We sipped our coffees and talked. It was a wonderful date. Just as we slurped up the last drops of our hot coffee and prepared to clean up, our chemo pager went off. Coincidence. No stinking way. I no longer believe in coincidences! Providence! Absolutely! Thank you, God, for letting us have our little coffee time together!
We skipped and scampered upstairs and made our way to chair #9. Benadryl pills swallowed. Infusion needed inserted (ick!) and the infusion began. Paul and I chatted, then I read and he listened to music, then we both napped. At one point, we heard the chiming of a bell. Everyone clapped loudly. The bell chimed again. We clapped again. It chimed .....again. Hesitantly now, everyone clapped a little quieter...wow, were there a lot of people finishing their chemo today...?
Then a voice spoke over the intercom system announcing that a fire alarm had been pulled and the bells we had heard were not The Bell! Haha...good one!
Then a voice spoke over the intercom system announcing that a fire alarm had been pulled and the bells we had heard were not The Bell! Haha...good one!
Much earlier than we anticipated, our chemo nurse came over.
"Okay, Brigette, you are done!" she announced.
"I AM?" I gulped and grinned broadly while trying to sit up. "That's amazing!"
I couldn't believe it......chemo was OVER! Bandaid two was applied and Paul and I walked out of the chemo suite towards The Bell!
I was overcome with emotions.....joy, a type of nostalgia for this strange place with its amazing fighters and nurses, and relief!
We got to The Bell and I had to compose myself. Tears come very quickly to me. I have leaky eyes and the tears flood up and spill over a lot! Ask my kids!
Now, I've been thinking of this bell a lot. For weeks and weeks. Last night I had to wake up at 4:45am to take some more steroids and I thought about the bell some more afterwards when I couldn't get back to sleep.
And here was my thought. I had this thought that hitting that bell would be the beginning of a very amazing Dance for Joy.
See, I love musicals. Not the tv ones but the on-stage drama ones. I especially love the big sing-and-dance scenes where one of the actors breaks into song and suddenly all the other actors have stopped what they are doing to join in with the singing and choreographed dancing. I just love those moments.
Sometimes I think life should be a musical but I just can't get Paul and the kids on board. I will sing to them and prance around in some limber and super cool dance moves but I am usually met with, "Moooom!" and no one joins in.
So, I had a thought that today would be a wonderful Musical in my Beautiful Life (even if this only happened in my head).
The scene opens with Paul and I walking hand in hand towards The Bell.
I grasp the bell rope and thrash it about, making the bell chime loudly while I break into song.
"I'm SO happy! Chemo is DONE!" The bell's chimes suddenly become part of a tune that fills up the chemo suite.
The receptionists are sitting at their computers and their fingers clicking and clacking at the keyboard add to the percussion sounds of the tune that I am still singing to. Then the receptionists vault over the desk and line up behind me. We are 5 strong now. Paul has joined the receptionists. We skip three steps ahead and clap our hands in rhythm. We twirl and stomp and sashay into the waiting room.
Bowed heads of waiting people snap up and their pains melt away. They jump up and join in. We are 15 strong now.
"Chemo is DONE DONE DONE!" We lift our voices in harmonious song. We link arms two-by-two and spin each other in a dizzying circle of unrestrained, unrefined happiness. We spin around and leap forward and forward and shimmy on back. We clap and sing and are now in the room where chemo infusions are being done.
The patients look at us and their iv infusion shackles fall away. They step in, never missing a beat. The blue-clad chemo nurses are next and we are 30 strong now. We fill the room with our loud voices and we dance the dance of bodies that are not broken. We are sharing a dance much as we are sharing a journey. We prance forward and swing it on back, we hop and skip and whirl wildly as we continue singing our song for one last line: "CHEMO IS DONE!!!!!"
Now that only happened in my brain, so I will share what REALLY happened!
Paul and I got to The Bell and I composed myself.
Then Paul recorded me ringing the bell. The chimes rang out and it was very beautiful. Not just the sound but what the sound signified. Chemo was DONE! A group of patients, nurses, and receptionists clapped loudly. It was wonderful.
Paul and I were almost out of the Juravinski Centre when I spotted the familiar form of my beloved brother, Tim.
"huh?? Tim? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" I asked.
"Yes, yes....." he wrapped me up in a hug. "Are you done already?"
Then there came my mom. My mom!!!! We hugged and sobbed - two cancer fighters on this journey that God has put us on. My mom had had surgery to remove her cancer two weeks ago today. And she was here! So amazing!
Tim and my mom filled us in. My immediate family wanted to surprise Paul and I and see me ring the bell but we had finished much earlier than expected. Conrad, my dad and Crystal were hoping to come yet.
"Well then, we will wait and I can ring the bell again!" I firmly decided. So we waited and in the waiting room of the Juravinski Centre today, there was a joyous family reunion as each member arrived. Crystal brought roses! So amazing and thoughtful. We hugged and made our way back up to the chemo suite again.
"My family wanted to see me ring the bell but they missed it. Can I ring it again? " I questioned the receptionist.
"Of course!" she enthused, "We love hearing the bell ring here!"
So we gathered around, took a million and a half pictures and I rang that baby loud! The chimes pealed loudly and everyone cheered. What a feeling. My heart soared, surrounded by so many loved ones: Paul and my family. It wasn't a scene from a Musical but maybe it was even better.
"Thank-you, God!" I thought with a smile. Your ways are always better than my ways. You know! You just know!
God yanks us down these roads. Roads that we don't expect to go down. Maybe you are on one right now. Maybe it is hard and it hurts so much. Maybe it is scary and you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Gather around those loved ones that God has placed in your life; gather them up because life is so much easier and lovelier with those loved ones holding you up and cheering you on.
When Paul and I arrived at home, there was more! Some of my best pals had left helium balloons in front of my house with more balloons and a lovely card on my bed. Thanks Mar, Amanda, Rose, and Char! I am so blessed! My sister in law, Janine, was inside and I spoke with my mother-in-law on the phone. I could not do this without you all holding me up.
So, that was my day. I hope you had a good one too.
God, thank you so much for today. Didn't think I would ever be here; I would not have thought it a year ago. But as ugly and scary as cancer is, as unpredictable as the future seems......this journey has been oddly beautiful. So, thank you, God for holding us up and strengthening us through it all. Help us to continue to trust in you as we look ahead to the next leg of our journey.
May you all continue to find God on your journey of life. Merry Christmas and may God bless you all!
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" Psalm 91:1, 2
(left: Me, Mom and Crystal) 
(left: me and Paul)
Me and Tim
Me and Dad
Me and Conrad
"Okay, Brigette, you are done!" she announced.
"I AM?" I gulped and grinned broadly while trying to sit up. "That's amazing!"
I couldn't believe it......chemo was OVER! Bandaid two was applied and Paul and I walked out of the chemo suite towards The Bell!
I was overcome with emotions.....joy, a type of nostalgia for this strange place with its amazing fighters and nurses, and relief!
We got to The Bell and I had to compose myself. Tears come very quickly to me. I have leaky eyes and the tears flood up and spill over a lot! Ask my kids!
Now, I've been thinking of this bell a lot. For weeks and weeks. Last night I had to wake up at 4:45am to take some more steroids and I thought about the bell some more afterwards when I couldn't get back to sleep.
And here was my thought. I had this thought that hitting that bell would be the beginning of a very amazing Dance for Joy.
See, I love musicals. Not the tv ones but the on-stage drama ones. I especially love the big sing-and-dance scenes where one of the actors breaks into song and suddenly all the other actors have stopped what they are doing to join in with the singing and choreographed dancing. I just love those moments.
Sometimes I think life should be a musical but I just can't get Paul and the kids on board. I will sing to them and prance around in some limber and super cool dance moves but I am usually met with, "Moooom!" and no one joins in.
So, I had a thought that today would be a wonderful Musical in my Beautiful Life (even if this only happened in my head).
The scene opens with Paul and I walking hand in hand towards The Bell.
I grasp the bell rope and thrash it about, making the bell chime loudly while I break into song.
"I'm SO happy! Chemo is DONE!" The bell's chimes suddenly become part of a tune that fills up the chemo suite.
The receptionists are sitting at their computers and their fingers clicking and clacking at the keyboard add to the percussion sounds of the tune that I am still singing to. Then the receptionists vault over the desk and line up behind me. We are 5 strong now. Paul has joined the receptionists. We skip three steps ahead and clap our hands in rhythm. We twirl and stomp and sashay into the waiting room.
Bowed heads of waiting people snap up and their pains melt away. They jump up and join in. We are 15 strong now.
"Chemo is DONE DONE DONE!" We lift our voices in harmonious song. We link arms two-by-two and spin each other in a dizzying circle of unrestrained, unrefined happiness. We spin around and leap forward and forward and shimmy on back. We clap and sing and are now in the room where chemo infusions are being done.
The patients look at us and their iv infusion shackles fall away. They step in, never missing a beat. The blue-clad chemo nurses are next and we are 30 strong now. We fill the room with our loud voices and we dance the dance of bodies that are not broken. We are sharing a dance much as we are sharing a journey. We prance forward and swing it on back, we hop and skip and whirl wildly as we continue singing our song for one last line: "CHEMO IS DONE!!!!!"
Now that only happened in my brain, so I will share what REALLY happened!
Paul and I got to The Bell and I composed myself.
Then Paul recorded me ringing the bell. The chimes rang out and it was very beautiful. Not just the sound but what the sound signified. Chemo was DONE! A group of patients, nurses, and receptionists clapped loudly. It was wonderful.
Paul and I were almost out of the Juravinski Centre when I spotted the familiar form of my beloved brother, Tim.
"huh?? Tim? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" I asked.
"Yes, yes....." he wrapped me up in a hug. "Are you done already?"
Then there came my mom. My mom!!!! We hugged and sobbed - two cancer fighters on this journey that God has put us on. My mom had had surgery to remove her cancer two weeks ago today. And she was here! So amazing!
Tim and my mom filled us in. My immediate family wanted to surprise Paul and I and see me ring the bell but we had finished much earlier than expected. Conrad, my dad and Crystal were hoping to come yet.
"Well then, we will wait and I can ring the bell again!" I firmly decided. So we waited and in the waiting room of the Juravinski Centre today, there was a joyous family reunion as each member arrived. Crystal brought roses! So amazing and thoughtful. We hugged and made our way back up to the chemo suite again.
"My family wanted to see me ring the bell but they missed it. Can I ring it again? " I questioned the receptionist.
"Of course!" she enthused, "We love hearing the bell ring here!"
So we gathered around, took a million and a half pictures and I rang that baby loud! The chimes pealed loudly and everyone cheered. What a feeling. My heart soared, surrounded by so many loved ones: Paul and my family. It wasn't a scene from a Musical but maybe it was even better.
"Thank-you, God!" I thought with a smile. Your ways are always better than my ways. You know! You just know!
God yanks us down these roads. Roads that we don't expect to go down. Maybe you are on one right now. Maybe it is hard and it hurts so much. Maybe it is scary and you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Gather around those loved ones that God has placed in your life; gather them up because life is so much easier and lovelier with those loved ones holding you up and cheering you on.
When Paul and I arrived at home, there was more! Some of my best pals had left helium balloons in front of my house with more balloons and a lovely card on my bed. Thanks Mar, Amanda, Rose, and Char! I am so blessed! My sister in law, Janine, was inside and I spoke with my mother-in-law on the phone. I could not do this without you all holding me up.
So, that was my day. I hope you had a good one too.
God, thank you so much for today. Didn't think I would ever be here; I would not have thought it a year ago. But as ugly and scary as cancer is, as unpredictable as the future seems......this journey has been oddly beautiful. So, thank you, God for holding us up and strengthening us through it all. Help us to continue to trust in you as we look ahead to the next leg of our journey.
May you all continue to find God on your journey of life. Merry Christmas and may God bless you all!
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" Psalm 91:1, 2
(left: Me, Mom and Crystal) 
(left: me and Paul)
Me and Tim
Me and Dad
Me and Conrad
I really should stop reading your blog posts......my keyboard is going to get so wrecked with the water that is dripping off my chin every single time I read an update! Brig, we are praising God with you and your family for this milestone. We pray that the treatments did what they were supposed to do. May you and Paul have a most wonderful Christmas with your loved ones!!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you, Michelle, and your lovely family too! May God bless and keep you in 2016!
DeleteLove this finale movement to your chemo drama! Praise God! Praying too, that you and Paul and your adorable kids have a lovely Christmas celebration!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rita! God bless!
DeleteBridgette you light up our life with your joy. Thank you Lord!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
Delete