Chemo Vs Surgery

It's an hour past his bedtime but his stomping footsteps race back and forth above our heads as we try to "clock out off" our parenting duties for the night.  Sigh.  He is up again.  He is coughing and hacking and apparently is scared of those dancing shadows on his walls created by the night light.
So here sits my Lochlan nestled on my lap while I reach around him to type tonight.   I don't think you can ever clock out of parenting duties.  I've tried.

Sneaking into the bathroom and peeing as quietly as possible while trying to read a tiny piece of my novel.  Suddenly the door slams open, a light flicks on (harsh, bright and I blink up into it).  "Whatcha doing, mom?"  ask four kids, curious about what I was doing, why and how long would I be since they were all tired, hungry and a little bored.  Also the dog peed on the floor and they all thought I was better at cleaning it up since Lochlan slipped in it last time and got pee all over and you were angry because you had to clean up pee AND do extra laundry.

Sometimes I want to clock out of parenting duties.  I sneak out of the house so I can walk alone and not with an entourage of small people on bikes and scooters banging into each other, slamming into trees, clothes-lining the dog leash or falling onto the ground.  Sometimes I pretend I am asleep so that when a small person comes in and hisses into my face with little-kid breath, "MOM ARE YOU AWAKE?" and then repeats said hissing 40 more times, they finally leave and I can have about 50 more seconds of sleep.

But sometimes I don't want to clock out of parenting duties because my four little people are my love and joy and some of God's greatest blessings in my life.  They provide fodder for hilarious stories.  They give the best sticky little hugs.  They say things like "I want to be the Holy Spirit when I grow up" and do not let their dreams be hampered and hindered and held down by reality.


I also don't want to clock out of daughtering duties (new word alert!  Quick add it to your dictionary!  It is an adjective that modifies a noun.)   I have a mom who, in my youth, gave up on locking the bathroom door but never gave up on me!  I have a mom who tolerated 24 years of my little kid breath hissing at her in the middle on the night; she patiently dealt with it.  

Today that mom of mine went in for her hysterectomy surgery to removed the endometrial cancer that had begun to grow there.  Today I could not be there for her.  Not to barge in while she peed.  Not to hiss her awake.  Not to suggest that she listen to my long stories.  I couldn't be there because I had a chemo treatment today.

Today my mom could not be there for me.  Every week, when I have chemo, she comes down here to take care of my babies, my Liam, Donovan, Gwen and Lochlan, while I have chemo.  She helps with their homework, listens to their piano lessons, assists with the paper route and even has begun keeping the bathroom door unlocked in case they need to barge in with imminently, life-changing news like "NANA, NANA we need a snack!"

But last night we talked together and that was beautiful and wonderful.
"I'm thinking of you, mom.  Praying your surgery all goes well.  You have your clothes packed?  Dad will be there with you?  Do you have everything you need?" I asked.

"Yes, it's all set and Dad will be there the whole time.  Do you have a babysitter for tomorrow?  How are you feeling?  Crystal is coming with you, right?"  she asked back.

It was so weird to be so disconnected and yet connected.

My mom's surgery went well today.  The doctors were able to operate by laparoscopy and the last update I had from my dad was that she was in recovery.  Her recovery should be quicker and gentler due to this time of surgery but please keep her in your prayers.  May the LORD speed her healing and give her patience and peace as she heals.  Please remember my dad, may the LORD give him the patience he needs to be a caregiver; surround him with assurance in God's plans for him and mom!

I plan to visit my mom soon so that we can share some good mother-daughter time!  Good thing neither of us clocked out of mothering or daughtering!!


"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD."  Psalm 27: 14