Can we find our way back to each other?
Is it possible for us to reach across our cavernous divides
and be together again?
Some of my best friends are vaccinated. And some of my best
friends are anti-vax.
We’ve shared awkward moments and conversations that got
heated. I went home and asked my husband, “Can I be friends with someone who
thinks so differently from me? Can our friendship survive?”
Without skipping a beat, he said, “Of course.” He is so
wise.
So, today, with equal confidence and assurance, I want to
tell you that OF COURSE you can find your way back to each other, even reaching
across your cavernous divides of differing opinions and stances on ALL THINGS
COVID.
Of course you can still be friends, family members, a
church family, neighbours and co-workers.
There is a way back to each other, but it must be a way that is deliberately
chosen. It will take work and effort.
There is a most excellent way, and it is the way of love.
“Love is PATIENT, love is KIND. It does
not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS, it
is not self-seeking, it is NOT EASILY ANGERED, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It ALWAYS protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love NEVER fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:
4-8a)
When we chose the way of love, we are patient
and kind with each other. We listen to what the other person has to say. We
lean in and say, “tell me more, I’m curious about why you feel that way” even
when we really want the person to stop talking.
Love gives space and grace for differing
opinions rather than hiding out and hunkering down with our comfy and easy homogenous
groups. Love is not easily angered because it understands that we are all a
little scared and anxious and uncertain; love sees that we are all grappling
for footholds of truth that will allow us to clamber out of our pits of
despair. But the Bible doesn’t tell us, “Thou shalt not be vaccinated” or “Ye
shall be vaccinated” . It really doesn’t; I checked.
But the Bible does tell us that the most
excellent way forward is with LOVE.
The truth in all this COVID mess is that
we’ve completely lost our ability to love through differences. We’ve lost our
way and it’s threatening our fragile and tentative holds on one another.
Let’s chose love.
How?
1. Recognize
that we are all more than our COVID stance.
2. If
you talk about divisive topics (ie. vaccinations, masks, church as essential
and other hot topics. I can provide more if you need to amp up the heat.) If you talk about divisive topics KNOW WHEN
TO STOP.
a. Establish
ground rules. Perhaps set a timer and say, “Okay, let’s chat about this for 15
minutes” and go for it. Stop when the timer goes.
b. Do
not attack each other. “You’re so stupid” and “You just think this because you’re
an idiot” should not factor into this conversation.
c. Listen
to one another. Be curious about WHY people think what they do.
d. Laugh/love/pray
it off. “Whew, that was heated! Let’s pray together and drop it.”
e. Drop
it. We really don’t need to keep beating this horse. Honestly. He’s pretty
dead.
f. Remember
the other things you have in common: Books. Work. Cheering for The Leafs. Go
ahead and talk about them.
g. Go
ahead and say, “Wow. I don’t agree with you at all. BUT I do love you very
much.” We can all use this assurance.
3. Respond
and React better. Someone who is angry and attacking is almost always hurting
or afraid. Can you absorb some negative energy today and respond, instead, with
love? We really don’t need to keep volleying our angry words. Be gracious. Let
words drop to the ground and step right over them.
Friends, it’s a hurting world out there.
I’ve seen families torn apart, churches broken up, friendships divided and all
because we’ve allowed this to happen.
Today, let’s stop.
Of course we can find our way because Jesus
has shown it to us time and again. Go forth into this day and with all your beautiful
relationships and CHOOSE the way of love.
(dedicated to all those who are hurting from loss and angry words.)
.
.
BV
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