When they entered the church, an audible hush could he heard. Their twenty-something son had suddenly and tragically died the night before.
And they showed up at church grasping for the hope of Jesus and the comfort of His people.
Finally, I scootched over and whispered, "I'm so sorry for your loss...I just....I don't know what to say..."
She turned a tear-streaked face toward me and I looked into eyes hollowed by grief and pain.
"That's okay. Sometimes no words are the best," she whispered. And then her cold hand clutched mine with desperation. As if I'd offered her a lifeline or anchor of hope.
We held hands and wept side-by-side for the duration of the service.
It was awkward.
It was uncomfortable.
It was inconvenient.
But it was right.
How do we break the silence when we don't know what to say?
We say, "I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry about ______. "
Or
We don't even use words.
We offer a hug, a shoulder to lean on, a pat, a text, a prayer right then and there, an email, an emoji (for goodness sakes....it can be as easy as an emoji!)
What we do do....is break the silence.
Why?
When we wade into the awkward and break the silence, we :
1. Acknowledge someone else's pain
2. Offer space to talk about it. Please don't assume that a person "doesn't want to talk about it". Perhaps this painful thing is ALL they want to talk about. You offer to listen and let them decide if they want to talk!
3. Lessen someone else's burden JUST by being there. Just by being WITH!
4. Push back the darkness of pain and grief just a little bit....by extending Jesus love, light, and compassion.
5. Encourage a culture where we wade into the awkward for the people we love.
Can you imagine a world where we talked each other through our pain?
Be the one to break the silence today.
Talk. Listen. Love. Repeat.
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