Tattooed and Ready to Go!

I don't know about you, but getting a tattoo is not something I have ever thought too much about.  I did go through a piercing phase in my teens and had seven ear-piercings at one time.  Several piercings I even accomplished myself with the help of some ice cubes and a sterilized sewing needle.  Good times.

But now I have four tattoos.

They are not big or decorative.  No giant colourful dragon, meaningful words or cute little tweety-bird for me.  My tatts are four, tiny specks.  The doctors told me that they would be the size of a freckle, but when I examined them, they resembled blackheads to me.

Rats!

I don't know about you, but I am pretty sure that when people go to a tattoo parlour there are no "blackhead" tattoos to choose from.  Of course, I could be wrong.  Maybe there is an entire section in the Tattoo Possibility Book dedicated to "blackheads".  Maybe a blackhead tattoo is the cool new thing.

Maybe I am actually a trend-setter or trend-follower?
Either way, I do feel slightly cooler than I did before the tattoos.

"Hey kids," I will say with a swagger in my tone, "How many moms do you know who have one boob and four tattoos?  I gotta say it, you guys have one cool mom!"

That will usually bring on a few snickers, giggles or an animated eye-roll.

All I know is: this is the refigured body God has given me, and I am trying to work it.

Radiation begins this week Tuesday and will run daily from Monday-Fridays for five consecutive weeks.  Treatments are not very long but can cause fatigue during the latter part of treatments and even for months following.  I guess this means I should go to bed on time.

Rats again!

I was hoping that radiation would be something like sun-tanning, but my radiation planning appointment of a few weeks ago assured me that it would not be.

Double rats!

The radiation is an "insurance policy", my radiologist informed Paul and I at a long-ago appointment. This part is great because who doesn't like to have some extra insurance on something like health? Me, that's who!  Maybe you too?

I often pray for good health for my family and loved ones, "Please, LORD, keep  my family healthy and strong.  Please allow me to respond well to the treatments and take this cancer away."  I don't know if this is the right prayer, though.  I think this sort of prayer allows for grand disappointment.

God did tell us there would be trials and sorrows in this sin-soaked world, after all.  He didn't say it would be all gum-drops and pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows (okay, that is from a song....not my own thoughts).

So, I will take this insurance-policy-radiation and pray a new prayer, "God, please be with my family through all this.  Your will, not ours.  Let your insurance policy remind me that You are in control! Maybe my messy life will not get more organized, but help me trust in You through it all.  Help me trust that You have an awesome plan and that this is just part of it."

In the meantime, I have to go do my exercises.

One, two, three, four.....arm lifts.  Followed by the sun-tanner pose.  And then, breath holds....

My left side is being radiated and the radiologist doesn't want to radiate my heart.

"Because radiation causes premature aging!" she chirped at me buoyantly at an appointment.

Yes, thanks for not prematurely aging my heart, I remember thinking sardonically!

".....so..." she continued in a matter-of-fact but way-too-cheerful tone, "....you need to hold your breath to lift your chest up and away from your heart.  That way the radiation will not affect your heart!"  She gestured grandly as she spoke and finished with a bright smile.

I gulped.
"H-hold my breath?" I queried with an eyebrow quirk, "For....for how long?"

"For 30-40 seconds at one time.  And you will have to do those breath holds about six times in a row!" my radiologist answered with another smile.  I have to admit, her upbeat tone, cheer and smile were making this all seem like a relaxing and fun outing at a spa.  Gentle breath holds, sun-tanner posing.......a day at the spa or a yoga class.  Great fun, right?  Relaxing, right?

"Oh, okay...." I remember answering eloquently.  She handed me some papers with breath-hold instructions.  They went something like this:  "Inhale.  Hold Breath.  Keep holding.  Then Exhale."  After reading the instructions, I was confident I could handle this breathing stuff.

So, several times a day or at least once a day, I can be found lying on a floor in my home.  My phone is set to "timer" and is lying beside me.  So are one or two, three or four kids.  If I am lying in a room with Yukon present, he is licking my face and trying to stand on me.  If I am lying in a room with Paul present, he is trying to lick my face too.  Weirdo!!  But cute weirdo!!

I will suck in a deep breath to "lift up that chest" and then hold.

One time, Gwen was beside me, her brown braids splayed out on the floor around her face.  Her mouth was firmly shut but I could distinctly hear her inhaling and exhaling through her nose.  I guess nostrils don't count as breathing holes when you are a kid!
Cheater!  I remember thinking, but didn't say anything at that time, because it was great to have her there beside me.  Supporting me by being with me.

So, I am tattooed, exercised, breath-hold-ready and waiting for the next stage of this cancer treatment.

If you are reading this, I just want to say thanks again for all your support.  Thanks so much for your prayers and cards, messages and meals.  Trials and hardships are so much easier to endure with loved ones along for the ride.  One breath-hold at a time.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  

John 16: 33